The Blue Fairy...

Recently I have been feeling a bit down and useless, akin to a palm tree in a snow storm...

I haven't been doing any psychic readings for anyone, I haven't been doing any healing in a few weeks, and I haven't been doing any blogging or meditation 

I have recently moved in to a wonderful house near fields, a stream, lakes and woods (which is somewhat of a luxery here in England) and I have had birds, deer, foxes, squirrels and badgers all coming in to my garden. I feel calm here...

Anyway, for the past few nights I have been asking (who? I have no idea... just the world I suppose) to help somebody... not to selfishly make me feel better... but because I feel I haven't helped anyone in some time and I feel this is a bit cruel of me...

I started dreaming some very strange colourful, vibrant, exciting dreams... l can only describe it as that Carousel song by Mr Bungle lol... and I could hear drumming... it was like some grand entrance theme to some massive broadway show. It then started spinning round and round, faster and faster and I started feeling quite sick, but was laughing and laughing, then I fell on my ass I was sat there feeling quite dizzy and everything around me turned purple... there was nothing, no shapes, nothing but space that was coloured purple. Someone then appeared in front of me, put a hand out, but I couldn't see their face as I was so dizzy. We then walked and walked through this purple haze talking and talking until there was a massive flash of red and I woke up.

I have never in my life had such a colourful and vibrant dream... it was nice in a circusy sort of way It made me feel quite good all day. When I came home from work I decided to open up a new hotmail account as I want to create a new website... that suicide chat one that I have said about before (to PREVENT suicide NOT discuss the best ways) Usually I find it hard to think about what username to use, but this one just came out straight away. Well, I started creating the website, and went to bed.

Next day when I came back from work, I had an email from MySpace. I have not got a MySpace account (deleted the BlueFairy one may be I should get it back....) so I requested a reset password and got 2 emails back.  I then logged on and was going to delete it straight away as I find it invading someones privacy, but I found myself drawn to looking at this profile, and I found hundreds of memorial comments. I then skimmed through the emails and found one from years back from this young mans mother, so emailed her to see if she would like the password for the account, which she did.

Its strange how things work... for years someone tries to get into someones account and they can't, and one random event happens and everything is worked out. I'm glad I could help, it makes me smile from the inside!

There are things that I feel like I should say right now that seem to be screaming from my mind, but I don't think its appropriate, but one thing that is really screaming out is... amidst all tears there's a smile.

Anyway, now I've had my fairy wings reattached, I feel like helping out again. No one ever seems to help me... alas I am not helping others merely to serve my own needs and gain favours... but to help me grow inside.

I am starting to see Daniel, my deceased son, again.