The Blue Fairy...

I have often been contacted through here about friendships and how to deal with them. How do you help a friend whos making bad decisions and you want to help them but if you say anything the friend will turn their back on you...

...well I have experience of this...

I had an amazing best friend, one who stood in my corner and helped me through my darkest days. He helped me through pregnancy, depression, birth, I even named my son after him, even when my first son died, he was there for me. Years later I moved away, and saw him regularly, but then suddenly he got a girlfriend and didn't speak to me for a year, I was absolutely fine with this, at the end of the day, he was living his life and I was happy for him and proud of him. My fiance then collapsed at work and was on life support in a coma, that night I rang my old friend, and as usual, he was supportive and spoke to me for an hour, and ended the conversation that he would like me to call in a few days when I knew something. Well... my fiance came out of his coma, and was diagnosed with a terminal cancerous brain tumour. I called my friend and told him, and again he was supportive (unknown to me he was in a restaurant with his woman at the time) A few weeks later his girlfriend called me, telling me that as she was his woman it was "inappropriate for me to contact him"... I explained that he had been my friend for 10 years and that I only called him as my man was terminally ill, I hadn't called in a year at this point, and I needed a friend to talk to... she then accused me of trying to seduce him.... of which I explained, there was no way in hell I would do this, especially when my man was so ill... but would she listen... no... she even said that if I really cared about my man, I wouldn't be talking to another man. Against my better judgement, at this stage I emailed my friend telling him that all I wanted was friendship and that I was shocked how he allowed his woman to do this (especially at her age) well... she'd taken over his email. His myspace and email address were promptly deleted as was his phone number... fair enough... I looked from afar and noticed he went from someone who was in 3 metal bands wearing black, with long black hair... to someone completely different. He quit his bands, he stopped dying his hair, wore different clothes, she changed him. When I first found out about her, I told him he could invite her to mine and my mans whenever he liked... but he seemed distant... like he was embarrased of her... I've recently seen footage of him looking so miserable.

Well there you go... 10 years of friendship down the drain. He had helped me through domestic violence, yet was in the same abusive relationship that I had been in... He knew my sons father had abandoned him, and now his step father was dying, and now he abandoned my son... I felt so angry...

but...

Do you do anything?

These people we care about so badly, we do not want them getting hurt at all, but what can you do? If someone is controlling them, then they will not listen, and if you say something, they shall just walk away and not talk.

Do you put a spell on the nasty person? No.  If something illegal is happening, you report it. If its not illegal, but abusive, what do you do? I shall tell you... you put a protection spell on the one you love, do the best you can, abused men and women never see reason until they want to. You let the situation run its course. Maybe it was in their life pattern to do this. It hurts like hell seeing someone you care about being abused, whether physically, mentally or emotionally. Show that you're their to help, call the appropriate authorities if its physical, but they will not be helped unless they wish to help themselves.