The Blue Fairy...

In the past few months I was contacted by some idiot who I used to know, who I welcomed into my house, who I spent money on, and my parents welcomed into their homes, who said he'd pay me back for certain things but didn't and has no intention of ever doing so.

He criticisized EVERYTHING about me from my house, to my life and beyond, as well as friends... well I'm sorry but ever culture is different.

I should feel angry really... I live in England and have a VERY expensive house in a good area... yes its small... but its these "luxery" things with a garden and garage. Yes it is small but he treated me like it was a cardboard box. He also critisized me that the towel was always the same each day... welll..... sorry for being colour co-ordinated and having MATCHING towels... also that my cat had fleas... strange that its a kitten and only been outside 1 time yet you come here who own 10 cats and suddenly she has fleas... hmmmm...

He even critisized my american friends... well sonny jim... my american friend may have lived in a trailor, but he has a good job, supporting himself and looking after himself well, without getting a car a roof and hand me outs from his parents.

This "man" not only stole £1000 of me, but me and my sons christmas last year, should I be angry? Well yes.... but  he is the one who will loose. He lies about who he is, lies about everything. He is a waste of space and doesn't even care about his own child.

Should I do a spell... maybe... but I won't... the threefold will be more and we are having a great Christmas :P

I have often been contacted through here about friendships and how to deal with them. How do you help a friend whos making bad decisions and you want to help them but if you say anything the friend will turn their back on you...

...well I have experience of this...

I had an amazing best friend, one who stood in my corner and helped me through my darkest days. He helped me through pregnancy, depression, birth, I even named my son after him, even when my first son died, he was there for me. Years later I moved away, and saw him regularly, but then suddenly he got a girlfriend and didn't speak to me for a year, I was absolutely fine with this, at the end of the day, he was living his life and I was happy for him and proud of him. My fiance then collapsed at work and was on life support in a coma, that night I rang my old friend, and as usual, he was supportive and spoke to me for an hour, and ended the conversation that he would like me to call in a few days when I knew something. Well... my fiance came out of his coma, and was diagnosed with a terminal cancerous brain tumour. I called my friend and told him, and again he was supportive (unknown to me he was in a restaurant with his woman at the time) A few weeks later his girlfriend called me, telling me that as she was his woman it was "inappropriate for me to contact him"... I explained that he had been my friend for 10 years and that I only called him as my man was terminally ill, I hadn't called in a year at this point, and I needed a friend to talk to... she then accused me of trying to seduce him.... of which I explained, there was no way in hell I would do this, especially when my man was so ill... but would she listen... no... she even said that if I really cared about my man, I wouldn't be talking to another man. Against my better judgement, at this stage I emailed my friend telling him that all I wanted was friendship and that I was shocked how he allowed his woman to do this (especially at her age) well... she'd taken over his email. His myspace and email address were promptly deleted as was his phone number... fair enough... I looked from afar and noticed he went from someone who was in 3 metal bands wearing black, with long black hair... to someone completely different. He quit his bands, he stopped dying his hair, wore different clothes, she changed him. When I first found out about her, I told him he could invite her to mine and my mans whenever he liked... but he seemed distant... like he was embarrased of her... I've recently seen footage of him looking so miserable.

Well there you go... 10 years of friendship down the drain. He had helped me through domestic violence, yet was in the same abusive relationship that I had been in... He knew my sons father had abandoned him, and now his step father was dying, and now he abandoned my son... I felt so angry...

but...

Do you do anything?

These people we care about so badly, we do not want them getting hurt at all, but what can you do? If someone is controlling them, then they will not listen, and if you say something, they shall just walk away and not talk.

Do you put a spell on the nasty person? No.  If something illegal is happening, you report it. If its not illegal, but abusive, what do you do? I shall tell you... you put a protection spell on the one you love, do the best you can, abused men and women never see reason until they want to. You let the situation run its course. Maybe it was in their life pattern to do this. It hurts like hell seeing someone you care about being abused, whether physically, mentally or emotionally. Show that you're their to help, call the appropriate authorities if its physical, but they will not be helped unless they wish to help themselves. 

Tried to offer a helping hand a few weeks ago to someone but they didn't even bother getting back to me. Its exactly what my Arkansas mate tells me... not in these words exactly but... stuff other people and what they do/think.

I was hurt like hell last year to the point where it COULD have broke me. I forgave this "man" and offered him friendship alas he just shits on me again.

Funny thing is, yes I have negative vibes towards him which have and will carry on, but he is doing the same as my previous post. He is putting his whole life on the internet. I hardly ever come on the net anymore, only to update this site and look for smurfs (yes... I love them lol) He will never find a REAL woman just internet relationship after internet relationship preying on the vulnerable and then stuffing it up.

Some people have no perception of real values, all they see is an outer body and money. They will learn.

As I've said before, I do not bring on 3 fold it just happens, it is the way it is. Some people, for what they've done to me or others, will recieve it sooner or later. One day they'll see what they've lost. I really wish to help these people but they're beyond help and there's no point in me even attempting and wasting my time doing it. I used to bend over backwards and try my best to help people, but unfortunately, nowadays, I have noticed that people are evil and do not deserve it. Only 1% of people that I know deserve the help.

I have a lovely group of girl friends who are absolutely brilliant, I have a brilliant fiance who treats me like I am a queen (and is REAL life not just on the internet lol he lives only 6 miles away) I have a wonderful son who surprises me every day, a brilliant job, and a fantastic dog and an equally fantastic puppy. I am rich, maybe not financially, but spiritually I have everything.... love. This is who I am this is what I am and if anyone doesn't like it... stuff em.

Looking around makes me feel cold inside.

There's a group of people who are in a rut. Every 6-12 months they have the same problems again and again. They are happy then suddenly the same circumstance props its ugly head and they are back in this vicious circle.

I used to be in a vicious circle. Mine was an 18 month-er that was getting less and less, and one day due to, not only someone giving me advise, but my own realisation of life, I managed to get out of this circle and I started to live. I used to do things to make others happy, but then I realised, maybe selfishly, that infact I am the most important one in my life and I should live for me and however I want to live, not live for anyone else or how someone else wants me to live.

I used to be so down and so lonely, even if I were in a room of people. I used to latch onto anyone who would show me interest thinking that they would be a good friend, but sadly I used to, 99% of the time, be wrong. I've always had a good heart and always believed that everyone had SOME good in them and always looked for that good, and it took me a long time to realise that infact I was wrong. Some people, especially in todays society, do not have an ounce of good in them. Most people are obsessed with money and material things and will pick and pick until they have what they want then will drop you like a used flannel. It took me a long time to realise that and it was very very hard for me.

As well as money and material things people also seem to be obsessed with beauty. Its always nice to take care of yourself and look good, but some people seem to think just because someone is pleasing to the eye, that they are a good person, and will do anything for that person, they do not see the beauty from within.

I'm not going to interfere in peoples lives, everyone has the right to live their life the way they want to, but I hope one day, like me, they can get out of their ruts and be happy.

With my work, I see things that are horrible, real tragedy, and although I've never been naive to the fact everyone has problems, it really hit home what some people are going through. We are all very lucky although we may think we are not. Anyone whos reading this has the privaledge of having access to the internet. We may think we are "poor" but we are a hell of a lot better of than most of the people in the world.

I now have a couple of real friends, a brilliant relationship and a good job. I am so thankful for that and I have done it all mainly on my own and I am proud. People have advised me in the past and seem to want to help, but then walked away or been cruel in some way or another, but I decided to live, to not let it affect me. I am a manic depressive, and that I have to cope with for the rest of my life, but I am dealing with things very well.

Oh and I nw have the most impressive collection of different coloured handbags and shoes ever :P lol

I have come very far in the past year!

I have recently been thinking about somebody who at the end of last year tried to judge me and bring me down... so I thought I would rant...

Everybody in this world has prejudices. Anybody who declares that they do not, is a liar. This does not make us bad people, we are only bad when we act on these prejudices and start to discriminate people. Other people do not have prejudices about certain groups of people but will still discriminate against them, maybe because of fear, peer pressure or ignorance.

Every person on this Earth is born equal, but it is society and environment that determines who we will become. You may have certain values and ethics that are totally different from the person next door, and these are hard to change, especially as they have been moulded over time from the day that you were born, but you must realise... you may have some pre-conceived view on certain groups of people... you may believe the stereotype that you have in your head... but just because you believe this and may be narrow minded, it doesn't make your judgements true.

Nobody has any right to judge another person, or presume that they either understand or know them. Every person is an individual and need not be judged by classifacations of culture, race, class, belief, looks etc, but be commended on the positive actions that they take in life.

We must all learn to be more open minded and non judgemental, in general. If there is something that we do not understand, we should learn to have the decency to ask or research, not judge nor bring down.  Rather than mirror the insecurities we feel within our own souls, onto others, we should learn to accept that this is a very diverse world, full of very different people. It is akin to the colours of the rainbow... everybody has different beliefs, cultures, race, likes, dislikes etc and this should be embraced and people should be proud to share with others as this world would be a very boring place if everybody looked the same, had the same experiences, beliefs etc.

Yes this is an extremerly idealistic point of view as there are people out there who are just pure negative... but if you look at their history you may just start to understand and appreciate that because they were treated and moulded in a certain way, they act in a certain way, and then you may just become enlightened to the fact that, your actions could change the rest of somebodys life.